Dreams

Dreams. We all have them. And I'm not talking about the kind of dreams that pop up while you're asleep. As far as I'm concerned, those mean absolutely NOTHING. Sure, every now and then, a subconscious desire or memory will finagle its way into our dreams, but most of the time, I find them to be complete nonsense. For example, back in high school, I had a dream that I owned a Twizzler gun. That's right. A gun that shot Twizzlers instead of bullets. TWIZZLERS. Like the red, licorice candy that you eat. Now, you tell me. WHAT does this dream mean? If you have any idea, then leave me a post. My mind is open for interpretation. But don't you dare waste my time by feeding me that Freudian garbage. I learned all about Freud's "brilliance" in college, and I'm not buying it.

ANYWAY, that totally wasn't the point of this entry. I warned you that I would occasionally get lost on a tangent. Now, what were were talking about? Ah, yes. DREAMS. If you haven't guessed by now, the type of dream that I'm referring to is the kind that you have while you're awake. These dreams can occur at any given moment. You could be driving down the road, and suddenly, your mind will drift away into your fantasies (yet somehow, your body will still manage to operate the car perfectly). You could be in the middle of a conversation, and as the other person chats away, your thoughts will wander to a place where anything is plausible. You could be staring at the computer screen at work, but in your mind's eye, you're looking at something completely different, something that only exists in your head. As Leonardo DiCaprio teaches us in Inception, our dreams allow us to create worlds that don't exist and give us the lives that we wish we had. Now, THESE dreams actually mean something.

Maybe you just threw the game winning touchdown in the Superbowl. Maybe you're performing on a stage in front of thousands of cheering fans. Maybe you were voted to be the next President of the United States. Maybe you're lounging out by the pool in a multimillion dollar mansion, doing absolutely nothing. Maybe you're handing out food to the poor and giving money to the sickly. Or maybe, your dreams are a bit more down to earth. Maybe you finally mustered up the courage to talk to that person you really like. Maybe you're expressing your love for a family member or friend that passed away. Maybe you're cuddling on the couch with a spouse or partner that is no longer apart of your life. Maybe you're cradling the child that you hope to one day have.

These, my friends, are the dreams and thoughts that pass through your head every single day. Dreams alter over time, but I guarantee that most of you can still remember your most cherished childhood fantasies. These are the dreams that you grew up with and held dear to your heart. The ones that made you tell people, "When I grow up, I'm going to be (fill in the blank)" or "One day, I'm going to do (fill in the blank)" Look at your life now. Did those dreams come true? Or did you lock them away in your mind and haven't seen then since?

Maybe your dreams did come true. But for most of you, they probably didn't. Why is that? Is it because....

A) You experienced It's a Wonderful Life and something came up to prevent your dreams from ever coming true
B) You were afraid to fail
C) You were too lazy to pursue
D) You didn't think that you'd be good enough
E) Your dreams seemed unrealistic and beyond your reach

Or maybe it was the people in your life who convinced you that you would fail, that your dreams were unrealistic, that you weren't good enough, that you should stick with something practical. Maybe they told you, "No! You can't be a professional athlete! That's unrealistic!" or "No! You're not good enough to be a singer!" or "No! You're not attractive enough to date that person!" For most of us, dreams only exist in our heads. We watch helplessly as the realistic ways of the world rip apart our fantasies and then burn the remnants into ashes. But even after they melt away, even after we grow from children to adults, those wild fantasies of ours stay close to our hearts. We never forget them. So why did I just ramble on about dreams? Because dreams are what gave me my book. Well, partly. The main inspiration came from a drawing that I stumbled upon on Facebook, but that's a completely different blog entry.

Dreams. Imagination. Fantasy. Whatever you wish to call it,  it has become  major theme of my story. Just think about it. What if your wildest dreams, your most incomprehensible fantasies, came true? What if your childhood-self got the chance to experience the things that you yearned for? What if you were able to see all of the wondrous and extraordinary things that you dreamed of? And what if those dreams turned out differently than you imagined....

Now since I got all deep and philosophical on you, asking you to examine your life and wishes, I'll share with you a dream of mine. Well, it's actually a memory, but in this case, it's the same thing. When I was living on Stanton Avenue, in Baldwin, NY, this guy named Rich came to my house. He was my Grandma Jo's boyfriend at the time and was the closest thing that I ever had to a grandfather. One of my grandfathers was an alcoholic, ditched his family, and I never met him. The other was also an alcoholic and got ran over by a car when my mother was 11. So anyway, this guy Rich saw me sitting on the stairs in my house, scribbling away into a notebook. I was about 7 at the time. He came over to me and asked, "What're you doing?"

"I'm writing a story," I replied without even glancing up from my writing.

"That's great," he responded enthusiastically. "Let me guess. You want to be an author when you grow up?"

Finally, I lifted up my head and looked at him. "No," I said. "I'm going to be a famous author."

I've carried that dream ever since. For a long time, it was been locked away in my mind, totally forgotten. Now, I'm opening that door and striving for what I've always wanted. I'm going to do all I can to make that dream come true, even if it means writing blogs that no one reads.

Oh and by the way, Rich later became Grandpa Rich. Just in case you were wondering.

And here I am

There are many things in this world that annoy me. Automatic toilet bowls is one. Hearing birds chirp pleasantly in the morning after surviving an all-nighter is another. And blogging is a third. Yet here I am, a starving artist (or maybe I am just a maniac suffering from delusions of grandeur) who started a blog solely to expose my name, my writing, and my ideas, and share them with people I have, and will, never, meet. All because a woman  named Caitlin, who I’ve never met but sounds very attractive on the telephone, suggested that I do so. Marvelous.

Now, if you’re reading this, I’m sure you don’t care. I’m sure you people want to read blogs that relate to current events and pop culture. Well unfortunately, I am not here to do that. At least, not all the time. Instead, I will offer you intellectual, thought-provoking allegories and short stories that pertain to my soon-to-be-published book. Actually, that’s a BLATANT lie. It’s not even close to getting published. However, I am very confident (or again, maybe I am just delusional) that it WILL get published and become a child’s fictional classic. I hope. Until that glorious day arrives, YOU will be my audience.
Many of my blogs (I’ll most likely get lost on a tangent every now and then and discuss totally random things) will offer insight and thought-provoking analysis to the ideas  that I concocted while writing the first draft of my book. Some of these ideas will be oh-so-sweet and endearing. Others will probably offend you. But that’s OK. You can’t please ‘em all. With that said, my first OFFICIAL blog shall commence tomorrow, and I think it’ll be a good way kickstart the madness. So if any of you wonderful bloggers out there want to get your minds BLOWN, then stick with me. Hopefully by the time I’m done with you, you’ll be sitting in a chair, contemplating your life.

Love you all,
Phantasma